Sunday, September 28, 2008

Too Much for Words

Have you ever had a time in your life when things moved so fast, you simply couldn't blog or journal about it all? Couldn't even seem to keep up with all the changes, even though you noted and were thankful for each and every one?

That's where I am now.

Life seems to be pouring out over me all of the knowledge and information I need, at this very time in my life, to move into new directions, changing the things that I've ached over for years. All at once, or very nearly so, new energy and life have been swirling around me, letting me know that now really is the time when I can finally make progress on the course I've spent so much energy plotting and trying to follow over the last eight years. It's like sitting in a small boat, lifted and propelled by ocean swells. There's so much power and momentum already, I just have to avail myself of it, and sail with all the effort I can muster.

Over the last week or so, I've been thinking about how I've taken lousy care of myself, nutritionally speaking, for the last six months or so. Lots of high-fat, un-heart-healthy foods. Can you say "b-u-t-t-e-r" on everything? Lots of turkey sausage? Way more eggs than any human should eat? Almost no veggies, lots of packaged stuff. Granted, it was natural, often organic packaged stuff, but still pre-packaged nonetheless. I've imagined what shape my circulatory system and heart must be in, and shuddered at the thought. And I'm only 32.

Yesterday, after Vern's family left from their week-long visit, I was thinking about them, and realized something ground-shaking. His mom had a heart attack that nearly killed her when Vern was a teenager.

She was 34.