Saturday, January 3, 2009

The Importance of Walking

From a recent email:

Walking can add minutes to your life.
This enables you at 85 years old
to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing
home at $7,000 per month.

My grandpa started walking
five miles a day when he was 60.
Now he's 97 years old...
and we don't know where he is.

I like long walks,
especially when they are taken
by people who annoy me.

The only reason I would take up walking
is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

I have to walk early in the morning,
before my brain figures out what I'm doing..

I joined a health club last year,
spent about 400 bucks.
Haven't lost a pound.
Apparently you have to go there.

Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise',
I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

I do have flabby thighs,
but fortunately my stomach covers them.

The advantage of exercising every day
is so when you die, they'll say,
"Well, she looks good doesn't she."

If you are going to try cross-country skiing,
start with a small country.

I know I got a lot of exercise
the last few years...,
just getting over the hill.

We all get heavier as we get older,
because there's a lot more information in our heads.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.


Every time I start thinking too much about how I look,
I just find a Happy Hour and by the time I leave,
I look just fine.

Have a great weekend!


Karen said...

Thank you for posting these amazingly true statements. It made me exercise by lifting the corners of my mouth several times.


Debbie said...

Okay I am in! LOL
What a great post to put up right when we are all making our resolves.
I am waiting until all of the holiday leftovers are out of the fridge and the freezer. Who am I kidding this was my resolution last year. Oh well, I hope you are enjoying the new year. Deb

Rhonda in OK said...

Those are so funny!
I especially like the one about not knowing where your 97 year old grandpa is and about having to actually go to the gym

thanks for a good laugh

RachelJane said...

Hilarious! Love it. Especially the part about weighing more because there's more information in my brain. I think I'll use that excuse. Just kidding. I joined Sharon's Diet Challenge 2009, so I gotta be a good girl!